You know you have a Mangalorean Wife when…

  • You speak to her in pure Konkani and she insists on talking to you in half-broken English.
  • She does not talk to you for several days because at a recent party you chose to speak in chaste Konkani and not English, thus lowering her social status.
  • She either has one brother called Wilfy, an uncle called Peddy, a cousin called Vally Dattu, a distant aunt called Yellubai (nickname for Aunty Helen), a mother who is called Jillibai, a neighbor called Pimpy, and a dog called Tommy.
  • She cooks “paiz” (boiled rice) for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner and for in-between meals. Accompanied by “Kualo Kadi” and “Lonche”.
  • Her idea of a party is cooking “Pooolao” (Pulav), Dukra Maas, Sanna, and Kombo Sukho.
  • She drags you over to church every Sunday (and Fridays, for Gulfies) so that she can meet her friends from St. Aloysius.
  • Her mother comes to your house once a month and stays over for the next 29 days.
  • She thinks the telephone is one of the greatest inventions. Her phone conversation always start with “Aaz kale niste?” (What’s for lunch?)
  • She can tell you the current market rate of betelnuts (phopla) and coconuts (narl), without batting an eyelid. In fact, she thinks that people who chew betel leaves are cool.
  • She is related to or knows almost every one in Mangalore. E.g. “She’s my mother’s aunt’s sister-in-law’s maidservant’s niece.” And if she isn’t related to anyone particular, she makes them her Kumpadr or Kumadr.
  • She knows how much each neighbor is earning and scolds her husband for earning less.
  • She knows how to clean fish.
  • Her statements of sympathy always begin with, “So sad, no?”
  • You don’t drink beer and she wonders if there’s a problem with you.
  • She thinks twice about kissing you even after marriage.
  • If she is in the Gulf, she comes to know about what happened in Mangalore days before her cousins in Bombay know about it.
  • Your cousins are called Valli and Shipri.
  • Your idea of a date is having ‘gadbad’ (falooda) at Ideal’s or Pabbas.
  • The most famous men in your town are Marble Pereira, Bokol Pinth, Wagh Porbhu, Vokil Freddy, Jako Fori, and Khaithan Lobo

This is really funny forward that I received. lol. I am not sure how everyone will react but Mangee’s will know what I am talking about.

Lights, Fire, Water, Laser, HD Projectors, Fireworks, Sound …… Action !

What happens when you mix the technical with the traditional ? Magic. We have always been mesmerized by stories told by our grandparents and elders. We have been made to imagine scenarios and through the process we had a few pictures etched in our minds about the life and times of the people in those stories. I had a unique chance of seeing these images come to life on Thursday. Last Saturday Roshan had gone to witness a “Laser” show in the desert as it was and he came back with the words “simply awesome”. After talking to his company he managed to get us Sharath, Himself, Lavina, and Yours Truly few passes to the show. And what a show it was !! Definitely it was one of the most interesting and visually appealing shows that I have been to in the past few months.

The culmination of Water fountains, HD Projection, Fire arts, Fireworks, Lights, Lasers, Music, Dancers, Performances with exceptional narration of an ancient Arabic storyline in the voice of Omar Sheriff himself was really a breathtaking audio-visual extravaganza. Only when one looks at the show objectively does one realize that this is truly state of the art. I was not too impressed with the human elements i.e the dances and performances as well as the story line. I think there would be better storylines found in the history books of the sub continent. Either way this was one show definitely not to be missed. For those of you still thinking what I am talking about, here is a brief description of what you will see.

The show was performed on a stage set in a water body containing 10 million liters of water – the size of the stage was on par with world class opera or ballet theatre stages such as the La Scala in Milan, Covent Garden or the Metropolitan Opera House in New York (not that I have been to any of those places). State of the art laser effects that interact during the entire show, creating images and effects across the amphitheatre are generated using two lasers located projection cabins across the amphitheater. In order to achieve scale and spectacular dimensions the show incorporates various imagistics theatre techniques. Various large-scale water effects enhanced the visual effects, the most impressive of which are the three 35m wide by 18m high water screens, which create a backdrop to the performance area; Complimented by various other attractions including multiple oscillating jets, mist screens and 50 meters high geysers jets, the water effects will formed integral part of the show. Working on the PA for the Airport I realize the difficulty to achieve absolute acoustics in open areas, well this one really beats them all, providing clear, precise sound with an output of between 110dB and 120dB at any point in the amphitheatre. Add to that various stage mechanics and real life elements such as actors on horses and pyrotechnics, this show will most certainly steal your breath away.

Thanks to Roshan for the passes. I tried taking pictures from my N80 as always, but since the lights required a high hef camera, I was unable to get good Shots. Adding pics from the official Jumana Website.

Mother Tongue

Throughout my use of the internet I have been surfing sites in English. Localization was not a big issue for me, as in I did not want Google in Hindi or to be able to blog in Hindi. Well they are beautiful features nevertheless, but then personally I do not find as much use of it. Maybe it’s just me, but then I can’t picture the next generation of vernacular based software developers and planners using any of our national languages to do the programming of the next gen software. Unlike countries like Russia or France or Hungary etc where people thrive on the vernaculars; India is a nation where the respectable person is only one who speaks English well. A person is regarded as well learned by the Metro Generation only if his English is good, no accent. Well I think we don’t think outside the box here in India.

I can confuse most people, when I am talking in my mother tongue cos its very rarely used. Well to tell you some interesting facts about the languages in India, Indian main languages are Hindi and English, But practically they are one of 800 Languages spoken in India and a total of 2000 Dialects exist for them. Out of the 28 states and 7 union territories, only 10 states and 3 union territories have Hindi as the principal official language. Every other state has its own regional language. And although I am from the state of Karnataka, my mother tongue is Konkani. The official language of Goa. It is so cos the name Konkani is derived from the region I am from originally called Konkan. And Konkan spans 3 states with different state languages. Confusing huh.

Anyway the Metrosexual personalities of people in India is driving the vernacular languages and people who speak vernacular languages to the side. Well that’s a bit more of the vernaculars digging their own graves, cos the commotions and strikes that all the antisocial elements conduct are under the veil of the vernaculars. Anyway, someday people will realize. But in the mean time the fact that the vernaculars are seen as outsiders is prompting more children to learn English more than any other language in India. At least so the metros, well there is only one issue with that. We are going to loose out on the language soon, in one or two generations we are going to be a complete mass of English speaking Indians and loose our vernacular individualities.

Konkani being my language is prompting me to take notice for the same reason. When I am thinking of the same thing, I am prompted to look at some options online. ;, and are some of the options I looked at. But the most impressive for them, is the site called

Its Magic !!

What happens to a bunch of grown up engineers when a magician comes along and sweeps them off their feet. Well guess what ? They get thinking logically how does that trick work and debate over it. Thats exactly what happened when we guys from work, had an outing to the Mall of the Emirates this Saturday.
Rather than enjoying the show we were endlessly wondering of the abilities and the how did he do that. Atleast i know i did. Seeing the video, the strongest voice is mine, cos i recorded the whole thing on my N80. Well as interesting as it may seem, there seems to be a trick somewhere ! This is exactly what we were thinking.
Guess some things are better left alone without thinking how. this is one of them.

Auto Racers, Quite Literally for the Clinically Insane.

For all those who have been in an Auto Rickshaw in India you will know what I am talking about. The Maikalal Schumachers if India are supposedly the Auto Rickshaw Drivers, or at least that’s what they think they are. Especially driving through the streets of narrow Indian roads, with vernacular abuses when translated, can shatter the dictionary. Well there is now a place for them to test their racing skills out, quite literally.

Just when you thought you had seen the weirdest, there comes along something that just makes you wonder. For friends of mine who don’t know what an Auto Rickshaw is : An auto rickshaw (auto or rickshaw or tempo in popular parlance) is a vehicle usually for hire and is one of the chief modes of transport in India, Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka it is also popular in many other countries. It is a motorized version of the traditional rickshaw, a small two- or three-wheeled cart pulled by a person, and the velotaxi. The auto rickshaw is also related to its Thai cousin, the tuk-tuk and the Bajaj in Indonesia. Some more ways this is called are auto rickshaw, auto-rickshaw, auto rickshaw, auto rickshaw, auto-rickshaw. Motorized rickshaw, Motorized rickshaw, Tuktuk, Three wheeler and in many parts of India simply as AUTO. Here is a You Tube video to give you a small experience to see how a ride on the Auto feels like. Detailed look and feel of the auto rickshaw

The fact that all the proceeds are for charity makes you take notice of the event. The Indian ARC (Auto rickshaw Challenge) 2007 is an event organized by and will be in fact a charity based event. The website is very interesting and counts down a total of 87 days and 12 hours; which means that on August 5th the world will witness one of the most bizarre motor sport endurance rally. The race is not for the faint hearted as this rally certainly would test ones physical strength, and mental character. Rightly stated it is for the clinically Insane. Well interestingly the route is very scenic, it would be a foreigners delight to see so many places in a single trip so many places with so much to offer.

Chennai is the automobile capital of India – and aptly – as it is from here that with an exuberant start the challenge begins for an unrelenting journey through the west coast of India.

  • Station 1 is the Fort City of Tamil Nadu, Vellore
  • Station 2 is my Hometown of Bangalore which is The tranquil and picturesque “Garden City of India” with its many gardens and boulevards is also India’s silicon city,
  • Station 3 is the tranquil town of Hassan is the oldest town of the Hoysala Empire, the city almost dates back 1500 years.
  • Station 4 is Mangalore, a city of vivid contrasts. On one hand you see narrow winding streets with cozy, red-roofed houses and on the other there are lofty coconut trees lining the beautiful beaches.
  • Station 5 is Bhatkal. Bounded by the shimmering sea and rolling hills, this place is a favourite tourist spot and known for the gorgeous temple perched on a hillock by the shore.
  • Station 6 Karwar, The beautiful Devabagh Beach in Karwar is said to have inspired Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore to write his first play. It is also home of the Indian Navy’s Biggest Fleet.
  • Station 7 welcomes you to the Paradise of India, Panjim. The Capital of Goa.
  • Station 8 invites you to discover the forts of Malvan. Malvan is today known for its salt pans, Chinese clay pottery and the special Malvani cuisine which is quite distinct from Konkan food.
  • Station 9 is the worlds most well known for the King of King of Fruits, the Alphonso Mangoes.
  • Station 10 is the hillside town of Mahabaleshwar, exhausting amounts honeymoons and romantic sunsets cant reduce the lusture of this romantic hill station.
  • Station 11 is Alibagh, an idyllic town where you can rest your weary feet. It’s a small town with a beautiful beach and the green hills on the other side, free of pollution and noise.
  • Station 12 is India itself, Ancient yet modern, fabulously rich yet achingly poor, Mumbai is India in microcosm.

I would not be able to jot down a better itenary for any person visiting India. The sights and sounds and the heart beat of India can be felt in only one visit, the Most Amazing Race ever. The organizers of the Indian Auto Rickshaw Challenge have taken a specific notice of the lack of good education, low literacy levels, and the high percentage of child labor that affects the Indian society. By fostering the Adopt a Village program and donating every penny of the profits from the rally to this worthy cause, the organizers of the Indian Auto Rickshaw Challenge hope that the ultimate winners of this historic rally will be the children of India.